For the Record...

The trial I was attending is finally over! Since I am not an attorney you wouldn't think that my last two weeks was very tough, but it is! My input is really utilized and put to use. When the attorney is giving his opening statement, it is his voice, but they are MY words. Everything is time sensitive. If you don't object in time you are out of luck. If you remember something after you close your proofs, you are out of luck. I never realized that the seemingly simple task of being alert was so tiresome until my first civil trial. This is my third since we are lucky enough to not have to go to trial often and every time we go, I learn more about the system and figure out more and better ways to be prepared. So it was a busy and stressful two weeks.

Most judges' motto is to "hurry up and wait." Meaning they want you there at 9 a.m., and they want you back from lunch at 1 p.m., knowing that they have other matters to take up and you will have to sit there for a good 45+ minutes. So a good portion of my day is listening to arraignments and sentencings. It is depressing and I am happy that I don't work for a criminal attorney. But while I was watching other matters being handled I began to think that while I don't always agree with the legal system...there are 2 things in the legal/court world that would benefit us in real life: "discovery" and the wonderful "record."

When you file a lawsuit the court gives a set amount of time for discovery. It is a time for you to....come on, work with me.....discover what the other party's stance is on certain topics and then decide if you want to get into that topic on the record when you are in court. Most of the time this is in the form of written interrogatories or even better, depositions.

Think of how helpful discovery would be in your life. For instance - IF I had the liberty of discovery I could find out how ticked off my husband would be if I opted NOT to go to his mother's birthday party tonight. If I discovered that this would not make him happy, I simply wouldn't bring it up on the record. Even better is when the answer on the record in court is different than what is discovered during a deposition. If this happens, you can then use the discovery deposition to impeach the other person making them look like a liar. Think of how many arguments this would prevent!! People would never surprise you with their answers in an effort to not be impeached.

Which brings me to "the record." All day long in court we are "back on the record" or "off the record." Oh how I wish I had a record of my day to day conversations. My own little court reporter typing away a million words a minute. That way when my husband was surprised (read: angry) that I got a shipment from Nordies the other day, and when I reminded him that I already told him I purchased something and he conveniently didn't remember just so he could stay mad....I could say, "Well, honey let's consult the record. Ah, here it is....On 09-10-07, at 1:13 p.m. I told you that 'I am ordering a dress for Ashley's wedding from Nordstroms today' and you said 'oh really? that's nice.'" I would remind him that there were no objections made on the record at that time so I proceeded with the dress purchasing.

My husband forgets a lot of the things I say - which means he just doesn't listen, doesn't care, or doesn't want to retain the info so he can argue it at a later date when he officially forms his opinion. My opinion is that it is the latter. He often claims to never have specific conversations with me and it drives me MAD! Because I can't prove the conversation took place even though I know full well that it did. If it was all on the record, this would never happen and I think life would have a few less bumps in the road because of this. Makes sense right?

Oh and by the way, the dress does NOT hold in my bust, so the Nordies dress is going back. It is a shame, because if not for that, the dress is super cute (for those of you who remember it - it came in lime green also and would look really cute on someone for the wedding, just not me - BUY it!) but I looked and there is no way to alter it any differently. The search continues and I shall soldier on!