Seriously, Co-Worker? Seriously?

Do you seriously think that your deceased Uncle Joe talks to you on the 11th minute of every hour from "the other side?" Seriously? Do you seriously hear him talk to you?

I really think this office will turn me into a crazy before long.

Seriously, Co-Worker....Seriously?

In honor of Halloween:

So it has been a while since I last complained about my co-workers. For the most part, they have been well behaved and have done nothing that I could legitimately complain about without sounding like a bitter wench. But Friday afternoon they seriously had me scratching my head.

For the sake of the story, a la Dr. Christina Yang (Grey's Anatomy), we will label the parties as co-worker One and Two.

Three of us were in the very back of the office complaining about one of the bosses' wives when One says, "Shhhh! I hear something. " My ears perk up and I strain to listen but alas, I hear nothing. She runs to the front of the office to make sure no one walked in to hear our tiraid. One comes back and reports to me and Two that there was no one there. She says she swears she heard a man's voice. Whatever, we all think we hear things sometimes -- people are walking by the office door, we have thin walls, etc. So, fine. But then Two gets all excited and says, "Really? A man's voice? Like a really old man's voice?" One nods excitedly in agreement. I am slowly backing out of the conversation because A) It was no longer interesting me anymore and B) My boss wasn't in so I wanted to get back to my online distractions.

Two goes on to mention that she thinks our office has a ghost in the form of an old man....Seriously? I am listening at my desk and waiting for her to say, "just kidding" or "just joshing ya" but instead I hear One enthusiastically agreeing with her....Seriously?

To say that the ghost talk goes on for an unacceptable length of time is an understatement. I am just floored. Then they go on to compare just how old the voice each of them heard in fact was. So to compare, they start throwing out client's names. Not as old as Joe Schmo, but older than John Doe...that sort of thing. Then they both agree that is sounds just like Mr. X, and that they should go home straight after work and pray for said Mr. X because he is obviously trying to send them a message that he needs their prayers and vibes....SERIOUSLY?!

At this point I am just shaking my head. WHERE do we find these people? At 5:00 I still hear them chatting about "the ghost." I jokingly tell them that their homework assignment for the weekend is to name our ghost. By Monday they had (seriously) agreed on Edgar. SERIOUSLY? I was joking!

Today, Monday, One is now telling Two that many people can't have cats like she does because they are not comfortable with the presence of the undead and how cats can sense these things unlike dogs. Instead of politely ignoring this nonsense, Two is in FULL agreement. Then they continue to compare stories about ghosts in the office and ghosts in their home.

I just want to point out that they are 10000% serious and are in no way joking or making fun or talking just for the fun of speculation. SERIOUSLY!

I NEED TO GO TRICK OR TREATING FOR A NEW JOB!

Seriously Co-Worker? Seriously? Part II

OK. This is going to require just a little bit of back story. If you can call this scintillating subject matter a "story". Actually I just decided to add scintillating to the list of words I don't like so we will use the word riveting instead.

Every now and then one of the bosses in our office goes out and asks his secretary to buy a LOT of candy. As much as I enjoy taking part in the candy eating, I always get upset because I see the writing on the wall....this is going to be a production. They go around taking orders of what everyone wants. And surprise, surprise when the candy gets home from the store and everyone has what they ordered except me. Seriously? Where are my York Peppermint Patties? They always have some strange alternate candy that they thought I would prefer but everyone else gets just what they requested. Whatever, I asked for something for a reason - but no biggie. That is the not the main annoyance with this tale.

So after the candy comes back to the office the second part of the ridiculousness always ensues. A conversation is started about the huge conspiracy the cleaning people have to eat us out of house and home. So they (the other people that annoy me, NOT me, I take NO part) empty the candy into a nondescript cardboard box so that no one will know what is in there and hide in on the shelf full of office supplies. Then they put just a sample of the candy into a tin so that if there are any looters, they can't get the entire cache. Seriously? Is it that big of a deal?

So, believe it or not, we are still not up to the most ridiculous part. So they come into work and find :::gasp::: Snickers wrappers in the trash. Let the inquisition begin!!! They interviewed everyone in the office trying to see who ate the Snickers. They are really gunning to blame the cleaning people. Seriously? Then at the end of the day when they decided that it was none of us who ate the snickers, they...I kid you not....took an inventory of the candy!!! They counted out x Hershey Kisses, x imitation York Peppermint Patties, x Snickers, X Milky Ways, and so on and so forth. Seriously Co-Workers?!?!? Is the candy (that you didn't even pay for) that important to you? Is it that upsetting that the cleaning staff (that you do not pay for either since it is part of our rent) had a few Snickers? Seriously?????

It is just appalling the amount of time these people have to talk about this stuff! I am NOT exaggerating when I tell you this whole ordeal took up about 2 hours of my day. Now granted, I am just hiding in my office, but it is a small office and I am forced to listen to all of this. WHO in the world has time to take an inventory of office candy?? I can't wait for when they come in today to tally it all up and see if there is someone infiltrating the office! It's probably a big enough deal to call the police (I swear if they mention this, which is not a stretch for them, I will be forced to quit).

Oh and again today with the coffee pot!! Seriously? I had a small electrical fire and a flood last night and my eyes are puffy. You are going to really mess with me and my coffee? AND my candy? It is just wrong!

Seriously Co-Worker? Seriously?

This is a little segment that will be up from time to time. Hopefully not too often. If you don't see this title, then you know I am having a great day.

So here is today's "Seriously?" moment:

Seriously co-worker? You thought it was okay to pretend you were cleaning out the coffee pot last night and instead just dumped the old coffee out and put the pot back onto the stand thingy?? Seriously? Would it really have put you out to rinse out the pot while you were standing at the sink so that this morning I didn't have to re-wash it? Seriously! I know your job is REALLY tough answering the phone a couple times a day and reading a book, so next time you are really into that last chapter just say, "Hey Stace, can you clean out the coffee pot correctly? Because I don't really intend on doing it." That would be a MUCH better answer.

You see, this morning my husband ticked me off to high heaven because he is usually out the door before I even open my eyes in the morning. But instead he spent the morning with me (yay!) because his car is broken down and so he drove me to work and stranded me at my office until 5:00 (double yay!). He cracked unfunny jokes, teased me and poked me all before I had my morning coffee. Then, when he dropped me off this morning, he thought he was super funny when he laid onto the horn VERY loudly and rudely. Since I didn't have coffee yet and am not really used to having to interact with anyone until about 10:00 a.m. when my boss comes in, I lost it. I told him that you do not lay on the horn and honk at a professional office building and that if he can't learn to act professionally he can walk to work.

OK that wasn't very nice...it was a bit of a morning melt down, but again, I am not used to talking to anyone in person (just email) before coffee time. So....I go up to the office grab the pot to make the coffee I have been yearning for and start to fill it up only to notice that there is still coffee from yesterday in it! She messed up and didn't empty it all....I found myself wondering how many times have I had coffee out of a dirty pot?

Needless to say, this did not cheer me up. I had to clean out the pot myself and start the coffee....I am better now that I have had some (2 Splendas and 2 hazelnut creamers)....but seriously?