Worst Travel Day EVER!

[NOTE: I had to tell the entire story for you to understand how exacerbating it all was...but if you do not feel like reading the whole thing, please advance to paragraph 12 :)]

Okay -- so as you all know, I went to Orlando this weekend for my friend Melissa's wedding (I will blog about that separately since I don't want to taint that occasion with my bitching).

I (mistakenly) flew Airtran. I usually like to take Northwest, but since none of their pilots feel like flying, they have decreased their schedule (which has seriously put a damper in my travel plans for the rest of the year and also a huge dent in my LV wallet ;). I was due to fly out at 6:30 p.m., Friday evening and arrive in Orlando (with stop over in the ATL) at approximately 10:55 p.m.

I left work at 4:30 p.m., because it takes about 45 minutes to get to the airport from my house. First, I was driving along and took the wrong exit. Thank God for helpful Chrissy who mapquested my mistake (which was minor) and got me back on the right track. So while she is redirecting me, the tornado sirens go off. Chrissy asks me some silly question like, "Should you be concerned?" I blew it off and said no and that they go off all the time but I never see a tornado. So I get off the cell phone and park my car. The lot was full and I got the last parking space available in the furthest location away from the entrance (which isn't all that far since it is a small airport, but you definitely have to hoof it). So I am organizing myself in the car and notice that the tornado siren is getting louder. I am getting my bags out of the car and opening my umbrella when it dawned on me that I am outside during a blustery rainy day and the tornado siren is going off -- perhaps, I should think about being concerned.

So here is me, with my rolley suitcase and umbrella trotting through the parking lot. I look left, I look right, I look up and back and see no sign of a tornado - but I would be lying if I didn't say that I was slightly nervous.

You see, I have this strange habit of thinking of things in terms of newspaper headlines. If I am in a precarious situation where the news headline is weak, I figure I will be okay. But if it makes for a good story, then I get super nervous. So I picture TORNADO AT FLINT AIRPORT: 1 DEATH AND 13 INJURIES. Clearly I would prefer to be injured over dead, but all in all - I would rather avoid the entire article.

So I start to sprint as fast as I will allow myself to in order to not look stupid. My umbrella was starting to get caught in the wind and was about to do that terribly embarrassing thing where it flips itself inside out (which I simply can't have people seeing that happen to me) so I closed the umbrella. So now I am soaked and make it in to the airport. Great right? WRONG!

I start to go up the stairs to security because I had printed my boarding passes online, but a police officer stops me and directs me to the airport basement!! They evacuated all of the people out of security and back into the basement! First of all, it is sad that the entire occupancy of the airport can even FIT in the basement, much less how sad it was to be there. It was hot and sticky and there were babies crying their heads off. I felt like I was in a concentration camp. There was no seating, it was strictly concrete walls and LOTS of people!

So about 1 hour later we are released from the evil basement's clutches and allowed up to our gates. Smooth sailing from here on out right? WRONG!

I realize that as it stands, I am really going to be cutting it close for my connecting flight. I go up to the counter to see if they have any suggestions: is there another flight? Should I just go home and fly out tomorrow? But their computers were down and they had zero information to give me. So they suggest I call 1-800-AIRTRAN. I do this and luckily learn that there is 1 outgoing flight from Atlanta to Orlando after mine. I asked to be bumped to that flight. Now, I should have known that the girl didn't know what she was doing. I could tell by how many times she put me on hold and how many times she asked the same question over and over again. She just wasn't getting it. But I let it go, and decided to stay at the airport and make a run for it so to speak.

So 4 hours later we start boarding my first flight. They ensure me that Atlanta airport is backed up also and that my chances for making my connection are fairly good. So off I go. Things are looking up right? WRONG! Once on the plane and out on the runway I am grounded for an additional 45 minutes! Good news is (yes there is just a touch of good news) I had a seat to myself - yay!

So now I land in Atlanta and none of the computers are working that show the updated times for flights. I ask a representative what gate I am leaving out of and she informs that I am in the wrong concourse and I better hurry up because it is leaving in 10 minutes. So now I throw caution into the wind, ignore looking stupid and sprint. I sprinted my butt off. I began to sweat and I began to stink to be honest. I finally get to concourse D and then to my gate and they tell me they have no idea what I am talking about, Orlando isn't at this gate it is at D6. So off to D6 I go, that agent says - no, go to D10. D10 says no and I should try D3. D3 is wrong also and finally find my flight out of D4 and it is still here! Great right? WRONG! Still more terribleness to come!

If you are still reading this ridiculousness, I appreciate your commitment :) You either really care about me, really hate me and are delighting in my misfortune, or have lots of time on your hands to read it all :)

So, flight is still here but not leaving until 2 a.m., or 2:45, I can't quite remember. Since the computers were down in Flint, I did not have a printed boarding pass for my new flight (the one I called 1-800-AIRTRAN to get on). So I go up to the desk to get my ticket printed and I got the attitude of the year from Shavaun, the lovely (NOT!) agent at my desk. It should be noted that I am extremely calm for the situation and still am using polite words such as please, thank you, sir and ma'am. This is where it gets sticky. She tells me that she doesn't think I am confirmed on that flight (cursing Airtran). Then I get ignored for a considerable length of time. Then some disgruntled patrons (literally) push me out of the way and start screaming at the agents and pointing fingers in their personal area. I am very surprised security did not intervene. I was a little bit frightened.

In the midst of this hullabaloo a pilot comes up to Shavaun and gives her some papers. Her response to him was SO rude that my jaw literally dropped. I guess I thought she would show him (Captain Neal as I later found out) some respect because he is the mighty one that lands planes safely or maybe just give him some respect because he was. I don't know, a HUMAN BEING?!!!

Either way, Captain Neal got no respect. So he sort of looks at me in a baffled way and I raise an eyebrow at him and tell him she is the friendliest person I have ever met (sarcastically obviously). He asks me what my status is on the flight and I explain the whole situation to him. He says that it is nice to see someone being polite and calm in the middle of all the mayhem. He is smiling the whole time and we are making jokes about friendly Shavaun. Then he takes me old boarding pass and says that he will see what he can do for me and sort of looks me up and down. Suddenly it hits me that we were not joking but flirting (on his end anyway)!!

Obviously I did not mean to flirt with him, I thought we were just joking about the craziness of everyone surrounding us, etc. But once I realized that he was flirting and that he was now taking my old boarding pass to see about getting me on the flight...I couldn't possibly turn back now, could I? So I discretely hide my left wedding ring hand.....OKAY, FINE! I took off my wedding band and hid it in my purse! Are you happy now? Damn me to hell all you want! And truthfully, I do feel awful about it! But it was 2:00 a.m., and I was not in Orlando yet and just wanted to get there!

So Captain Neal comes back and he got me on the plane ahead of all the other people that were screaming bloody murder and on top of that - I was flying first class (singing::::up in the sky, popping champagne, living the life:::G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S::::) or business class whatever they call it now.

So I figured that my innocent smiles and jovial behavior to Captain Neal were worth it because I was on the plane and he was then locked in the pilot control room area where he wouldn't bother me. Woooo Hooo! I was on my way to Orlando! Great right? WRONG...well not wrong...but it was definitely only sort of great because.....

Flash forward to approximately 4:20 a.m.....

We have landed! Yay! I am dead tired at this point and have been in my outfit for 21 hours. I was in no mood for anything else. As I am getting off the plane, I thank Captain Neal for all his help and wish him a good evening. I was thinking that would be the end of it b/c I walked down the flight bridge as fast as I could! Well low and behold Neal was right behind me! He didn't even wait until all the passengers got off the plane! So he walked with me and kept on talking...ugh, I was SO not in the mood for another lost puppy (because I already found a stray earlier in the week). He then asks me out to coffee at 4:30 a.m. I use the excuse of being super tired and my parents were coming, etc. But seriously? Did he think that he was charming enough for me to stick around the airport for coffee at that hour? Delusional! He then tries to exchange numbers and I brushed him off by saying that I hate Orlando and try never to come here. He was not pleased, but oh well.

So that basically concludes my day of traveling. My parents were an additional 30 minutes late picking me up, so I didn't get into a bed until sometime in the 5-6 a.m. area. Not a good start to the weekend but at least it makes for a long blog entry :) Now off to upload wedding photos!!