Camera 1 or Camera 2?

So, I went to the eye doctor yesterday. It is the first time I have been in years. If you were to ask my mother she would probably cry when forced to bring back the bitter memories of our eye doctor trips when I was younger. I would try to get out of the visit in EVERY way possible. I was a WRETCHED little girl. It was the one time my mother probably muttered to herself how much she hated me (well hopefully not, but if she did - MOM I UNDERSTAND! I forgive you for this and I am sorry). Then once there, I would typically be very rude to the poor old opthamologist (i.e. smarty pants teenage answers that are not really helpful in assessing my overall optical health). Eventually my parents, in a moment of sheer desperation on how to deal with me, got me Lasik Eye Surgery. I think it was just as much for me as it was for them.

If you are ever curious about it and have the funds to do it for yourself, I seriously cannot promote it enough. It was eye opening (pun IS intended. Keep in mind in future reading that intend all my puns and I love to sprinkle them into my day). I began as someone who, without contacts, wouldn't recognize their mother on the street or be able to find their way out of a burning building, to someone who could see crystal clear! It was AMAZING!

Well, in the last few years, my sight has began to weaken. I think I just have one of those sets of eyeballs that are never going to settle...they are just going to keep on fighting the good fight (good luck little buddies!).

So with the brand new luxury of health insurance (compliments of my brand spanking new husband), I made every doctor appointment imaginable. It is like having a credit card! I haven't had insurance in years so this is truly a novelty for me!! I made a girl doctor appointment (or the vaginacologist as one not-so-smart person I did business with really thought they were called), a regular doctor appointment, and an eye doctor appointment.

I knew that my hatred towards the eye doctor wasn't going to change because it is their job to ask me to read the big E and they, for whatever reason, have to make me look through those lenses and do: "Number 1, or Number 2? Number 2 or Number 3? Number 3 or Number 1?" We have all sat there and listened to this pure nonsense and we have all lied to the eye doctor because who the hell knows which one was better - they ALL look the same!! I am sort of convinced that all the lenses ARE the same and that their day is just sooo boring that they like to frustrate unsuspecting blind people. NOT NICE! I don't see that as going over well with the big guy upstairs when their time comes.

So anyway, this visit was no different. The nurse/assistant lady was super nice and when she told me to cover my left eye she said, "WOW you blinded me with your ring!" (insert evil snicker) Nothing makes me happier than getting some props for my ice (insert my theme song: Ice Ice Baby). Luckily I had a really nice doctor. He was young and when I stalled in answering which one was better (No. 6 or No. 7) he said, "They all kind of look the same don't they?" THANK YOU!! YES, they do!

My only main issue is that they dilated my eyes and assured me that I could drive home with my eyes big like saucers. Um...the residents of Saginaw are quite lucky the trip home went as well as it did. They were ALL at risk!

I purchased a pair of Coach glasses. I wasn't thrilled with anything but I tried on all the big wigs. Dolce, Kate Spade, Fendi, Gucci, Dior, etc. The bottom line is glasses are dorky. I resisted the ones with rhinestones or anything too flashy and I went with the ones that I thought my husband would make the least fun of (Coach). I will get them in 2 weeks! Maybe I will take a picture, but I do have my rep to protect and we all know I take myself too seriously to be a goof, so I doubt it. Here is what they sort of look like since I forgot to get the style name before I left. Luckily I only have to wear them for night driving and TV, so that is some good news!

WHO YOU CALLIN' FOUR EYES?